LETTERS TO MARÍA

LETTER ONE

DECEMBER 7^TH

Am not able to forget it yet Maria; the day when my world crashed apart. I observed you, I saw you, you simply passed by. Something inside me died that day. Nothing would ever be the same and if my apathy was not a heavy fetter I might have moved. I felt that I gave it all but that didn’t really happen.

Always believed that we would be happy together but you forgot about me. You ran ahead with eyes closed and without even think to go back. Autumn will never end the same for me, I will stay drowning in “why” until I die.

Today I woke up realizing am nothing, you held to an old anchor rusting in the bottom of the sea, yes, that gaze of moonlight gave me hope. But you’re All and am nothing. Why did you stay so long if you knew I was falling even deeper?

Maria: I never meant to hurt you, your sweet tears in my tongue turned into wild vice.

I believed and I believe it: I gave you all.

I GAVE YOU ALL!

You loved me; I love you, you left me and am waiting for you. Train’s whistle that took you so far away from me will leave me crying inside my soul until I no longer have a soul. I love you Maria, you choose a life for yourself. You will be his and will have children together. Maybe you don’t even remember me anymore, even though it was not so long ago. He has and is everything I do not, he will give you that house you always dreamed of and the children you wished with me. I will always be the same poor tramp you met in the Flower hill. You were so much for me, I guess.

I saw you leaving, you didn’t care.

Juan